Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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