Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
