Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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