omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
And then he peed in my hair
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
