Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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