SEEEEXXX PLEASE
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
