so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
