i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
