i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
