Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
