i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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