Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize