what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
