Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
