Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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