Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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