Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
