mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I pour the whiskey from now on
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
