I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
