We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
