Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
