I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
