chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
