i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We were destined to go to rehab together
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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