i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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