after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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