why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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