I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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