he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
