all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
