remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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