Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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