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lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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