Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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