What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
