I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
