Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
