i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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