the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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