Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
