So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
