it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
