my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
