And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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