and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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