I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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