your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
