If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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