ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
