oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize