wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
