? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
