I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
