What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
