went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
