Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
