I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
