You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
