I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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