he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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