it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
