guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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