So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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