I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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