1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
