the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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